Sabotage!

Have you ever set out to accomplish a goal only to find yourself sabotaging your results? I find myself struggling lately to stay on track with eating healthy. I’m trying to go gluten free. I must admit, I’m not doing very well. When I eat only healthy, non-processed foods, I feel great. I have tons of energy and strength to do my work. I lose weight and look great.

Right now, I don’t feel so great because I keep going back and forth. There is a battle going on in my head. All I can think about is the food I shouldn’t be eating. I am struggling. Can I realistically do this gluten free diet? Will pizza and chocolate chip cookies ever taste the same?  Will I get bored eating so many vegetables? Will I have time to prepare and cook all this fresh food? Will my kids even eat it — or will they turn up their noses and opt for a bowl of cereal instead? Can our budget handle the extra expense of buying organic foods? My mind races with questions.

I was doing really good. My body was totally detoxed from all the unhealthy, processed food and I was feeling great. I was excited to fit into some favorite clothes I hadn’t worn in a couple years. I survived going on vacation with my family and eating out at restaurants. I even bought a new dress. But today I am struggling. I feel miserable. I want to give up. Why do I get so close to crossing the finish line, but then turn around and start going backwards? I am really frustrated with myself. My mind is like a punching bag.  I ask myself, “What is wrong with me? This is what I’ve been working so hard for. Why am I so quick to give up right before I reach my goal? I am almost there. Why do I get scared and want to run the other direction?” I pray for help but I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling.

I look at the Bible verse taped to my kitchen “snack” cabinet and try to convince myself it’s worth it. I repeat it out loud to myself, “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.” (1 Corinthians 6:12) Whenever I tell myself I can’t have something, it makes me want it even more. I hate that. I feel like my cravings are controlling me. I need to stop this downward spiral before it goes any further.

I started to make a list in my journal. What other things can I let control me?
I will not be mastered by …

  • Desserts (cookies, chips)
  • Laziness / Inactivity
  • Distractions
  • Excuses
  • Insecurity
  • Fear
  • Food (pizza)
  • Other People’s Opinions
  • A Bad Attitude
  • Failure / Set Backs
  • Emotions / Feelings
  • Negative Thoughts
  • Busy-ness
  • My “To Do” List
  • _____________

I may not FEEL like doing the right thing all the time, but I can still make the choice to DO the right thing even when I don’t feel like it. Joyce Meyer said, “If you choose to do what’s right, your feelings will catch up to your decision. Passion is not a feeling but a deep commitment to press thru to the finish.” So often I let my feelings dictate how my day will go. If I wake up happy and energized then my whole day generally reflects that same good attitude. But if I wake up grumpy or tired, I can be moody all day. Most of the time it is because I ate something the night before that wasn’t good for my body or I stayed up too late. Sabotage!

It is difficult for me to motivate myself and start over after a failure. It can seem overwhelming at times. I can get scared when I look too far ahead of myself. It’s easy to talk myself out of trying. But I don’t want to keep going around in circles over this. I certainly don’t want to go backwards after all the progress I’ve made. I know enough now to see that I am sabotaging myself.

Sometimes we need to talk ourselves out of a bad decision. We need to be our own cheerleader.

I don’t want to end up ten years from now complaining about the same problems all because I didn’t want to take the time or make the necessary sacrifices to get healthy. I can do this. I need to stop, turn around, and take a step in the right direction. Will you join me?

The Bible for Today:
“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, ‘Who will [go] get it [for] us…?’ NO, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.” (Deuteronomy 30:11-12, 14 NIV)

“Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.” (2 Corinthians 8:11-12, NIV)